Joy and Sorrow

Then a woman said, "Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.

And he answered: Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.

And how else can it be?

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?

And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."

But I say onto you, they are inseparable.

Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.

Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.

When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.- Kahlil Gibran from his masterpiece, THE PROPHET.

The Gal with the Broken Smile

My daughter Lexi was the type of gal who once she set her mind to accomplish something, never gave up. An admirable characteristic for a young woman making her way in the world. It helped her accomplish good grades, get challenging jobs, transfer to UGA, befriend a diverse group of friends and travel the world. Her CAN DO attitude that allowed her to pursue many of her life's dreams ultimately resulted in cutting her life short. She suffered an acute manic episode in November 2010 followed by a fall into the depths of depression from which she never recovered. Despite a nurturing home environment, psychotherapy and alternative care her depression made life for her ultimately unbearable. Rather than focus on how to lift herself up from her sorrow, she focused on how to relieve her suffering as quickly and as permanently as possible.

My goal is not to dwell on her loss, but to shed light on how we can help avoid crisis. The July 2011 issue of COSMOPOLITAN Magazine includes these tips for suicide prevention.

According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention her are steps to take when you or a friend seem troubled.

WHEN YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT A FRIEND

Say You're Concerned- When you're alone, tell her, " I'm worried because you seem disconnected. Please tell me what's going on." Knowing you care can convince her to open up.

Offer To Get Her Help- It's often tough for a suicidal person to take that first step to seeing a professional. Gather the names of local psychologists gets the ball rolling.

Follow Up- Call her a day later to see how she is and if you can help. Should she brush you off, say "If anything happened to you, I'd be devastated." Hearing that may make all the difference.

Enter Emergency Mode- If she admits she wants to end it all or jokes that her life is worthless, call 911, take her to Emergency Room, or contact her family.

WHEN IT'S YOU WHO FEELS DOWN

Don't Remain Isolated- Approach a trusted friend or family member, and tell him or her how you've been feeling. You may try to talk yourself out of interactions like these by assuming that you're a burden to them or they don't care, but your thinking may be skewed right now.

Note How Long You've Been This Way- If you feel sad, empty, or hopeless and these emotions don't lift after two weeks, seek out a counselor. Also, steer clear of alcohol or drugs-they can darken your thoughts and make you feel more despondent.

Make The Call That Could Save Your Life- Should you feel any impulse to harm yourself, call 911 and let the operator know you need help, head to the ER, or dial the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK.